The Hidden Tragedy Behind Perfect Lives — The Mental Health Crisis

By Nick Jacobs

In our image-obsessed society, where social media is all about displaying personally coordinated perfection and material success as happiness, a 19th-century poem offers incredible insights into the human condition. The poem, “Richard Cory” by Edwin Arlington Robinson is still incredibly relevant because it serves as a powerful reminder that the curated version of someone’s life that transforms messy, real lives into highlight reels are not the entire story.

Robinson’s poem is about a wealthy man in a small town who has everything society tells us we should work to become. Richard Cory has unimaginable wealth. The poem describes him as “richer than a king.” He carries himself with dignity, is “admirably schooled in every grace,” and treats others with kindness and respect.

To the working-class townspeople who see him, Cory is the pinnacle of that perceived success. He is someone who seems to have solved all of life’s problems through his advantages, and he stands for the mistaken belief that his success guarantees emotional well-being and life satisfaction. He is a living, breathing validation of society’s relentless emphasis on status and wealth.

This poem’s central meaning explores several important themes. It addresses appearance vs. reality in that someone’s experience sometimes hides deep inner pain. Even when one seems “to have it all,” there is always more to their story than appears on the surface.

As we age, we begin to recognize that social isolation, loneliness, and a genuine lack of human connection can have the equivalent detrimental impact on our lives as smoking a pack of cigarettes every day.

The devastating conclusion of Robinson’s poem demonstrates that, despite his apparent perfection, Richard Cory takes his own life. This leaves the readers to try to understand the incredible disconnect between our external appearances versus our internal reality.

Regardless of their external circumstances or advantages, there is a universality in human suffering, and depression, despair, and mental anguish that can affect anyone. The poet encourages us to recognize that everyone might be fighting battles we know little about and that a greater understanding of the meaning of mental illness is an important part of who we should be as humans.

In a culture that constantly reinforces the belief that the right job, house, car, or social status will bring fulfillment, Richard Cory stands as a stark counterexample. His story suggests that mental anguish operates independently from external circumstances, affecting individuals regardless of their apparent advantages.

The poem also points out the isolating nature of being placed on a pedestal. While the townspeople admire Cory from a distance, there’s nothing to indicate that there is any type of genuine human connection. He exists as an object of envy rather than as a person with authentic relationships. This type of social isolation where unconnected admirers surround the “star” without any real relationship reflects a phenomenon that can be extremely damaging to mental health.

Mental illness can be an equal opportunity source of devastation. It does not discriminate based on social class, education level, or bank account. We need to look beyond the surface and recognize that everyone may be fighting battles about which we know nothing. The successful neighbor, the accomplished friend, the perfectly dressed business leader might all be struggling with pain that is not visible to you.

In our digital age, where we as social media influencers create endless opportunities for the illusion that other lives are perfect, we often measure our own struggles against others’ highlight reels, and we forget that everyone manages their public image. The ongoing power of this poem lies in its demand for empathy and understanding. We are encouraged to approach our fellow human beings with compassion. It also challenges us to recognize that external success doesn’t shield anyone from the complexities of life.

Empathy is not just a feeling. Empathy is a decision to listen, stand up, and say, “Your pain matters, even if it’s not mine.”

Nick Jacobs is a partner with SMR, LLC and founder of the Academy of Integrative Health and Medicine, former board member of the American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine, Jacobs maintains a website, Healinghospitals.com.